Vulnerability and constructive feedback

Do we ever just say that we appreciate feedback but actually get a knot in our stomach when the opportunity arrives? And sometimes, we don’t have a choice in it. Occasionally, our manager simply takes our yoga class and asks to chat about it once it’s over. Yikes.

I’m drawing on a recent experience that happened over the weekend. Teaching yoga in a public space is the scariest thing that I do on a consistent basis. It fills me up and simultaneously pushes me to the point of no return, feeling as if I’m putting it all out there on the line. If I had to illustrate it to the layperson, it feels like offering up your innermost thoughts and feelings to strangers with no feedback in return. Feedback! There’s that word again. I recognize the paradox between dreading feedback and desiring feedback. The tension that exists between the two seemingly opposite notions is perhaps more similar than we think.

I’m currently rereading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. In her early work, she presupposes that the key to vulnerability is to man the discomfort head-on and to cradle the tension with love, compassion, and support. The universe placed a confronting and surprising situation that pulled vulnerability out from me in a work setting, but at the same time, from the real spiritual and tender place of teaching yoga.

Of course, the feedback I received was accurate, helpful, and kind, but enduring the rising tension and staying present, engaged, and open was challenging to say the least. The aftermath of ingesting feedback is harder than the session itself. I spent the rest of the day feeling a mixed bag of emotions such as pride, fear, joy, worry, and excitement. The vulnerability hangout is real y’all. I felt physically exposed, antsy, and restless. I wanted to curl up in a ball and hide from these all too real sensations in my body.

There is not an ‘aha’ moment to this anecdote. I just wanted to write about my struggles and witness what emerged from them. What emerged, you ask? I simply practiced how to move through difficult emotions and intense vulnerability. Instead of turning away, I decided to meet it with love, compassion, gratitude, and even more vulnerability. Right now I feel whole, optimistic, and courageous. Implementing relevant criticism is important, but how we process those pointers will influence the success of feedback. That’s what I learned.